(Talking)
May I have your attention please,
may I have your attention please,
will the real slim shady please stand up,
I repeat will the real slim shady please stand up
.....we're gonna have a problem here.........

(Verse 1)
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor
like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorced
throwing her over furniture (aaaaaah)
It's the return of the...
"ano wait, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did,
did he?"
and Dr. Dre said...
nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead
he's locked in my bassment
feminist women love eminem
chicka chicka chicka slim shady,
"I'm sick of him, look it him
walkin around, grabbin his you know what
flippin' to you know who"
"yeah, but he's so cute though"
yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom(eheheheh) sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose but can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss and that's the message that we deliver to little kids and expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is of course they're gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit 4th grade they got the discovery channel, dont they? we ain't nothing but mammals well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantelopes but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote women wave your pantehose, sing the chorus and it goes........

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 2)
Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
you think I give a damn about a grammy
half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me "but slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird" why? so you guys can just lie to get me here so you can sit me here next to Britney Spears bullshit,Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs, so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst and hear em argue over who she gave head to first little bitch, put me on blast on MTV "yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee" I should download her audio on MP3 and show the world how you gave eminem VD (aaaaaah) I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me so I have N'SYNC here to destroy you and there's a million of us just like me who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me and just might be the next best thing, but not like me......

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 3)
I'm like a head trip to listen to
cause I'm only giving you things
you joke about with your friends inside you livin' room
the only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated atall I just get on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it (riiip) I just shitted it better than 90% you rappers out can then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums it's funny,cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with jergen's and I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra isn't working in every single person there's a slim shady lurkin he could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings or in the parking lot, circling, screamin I dont give a fuck with his windows down and his system up so will the real shady please stand up and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? ...........

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up

cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up

(Talking)
haha guess it's a slim shady in all of us........
fuck it let's all stand up